Jesus' Mission Statement

Go to any business, school, or place where people gather to conduct business, and you will see a Mission Statement prominently posted for everyone to see. This statement shares with the customer or client- what the focus and intent of the business is. It's usually pretty easy to assess if the business is living up to their statement by the way they interact with you. In Luke 4: 18, we hear Jesus recite His mission statement to us. He says "The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, Because He anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim release to the captives, And recovery of sight to the blind. To set free those who are downtrodden."
This mission statement is intense and dramatic. Who would make these kind of claims unless they were truly able to deliver them? The truth is that Jesus can deliver on His claims. When it comes to the pain of disordered eating- He goes right after it in His mission. When He says that He is sent to release captives, He's talking about those of us who are held captive to the bondage of food, overeating, dieting relentlessly, starving ourselves, purging, and hating the very body we've been blessed with. He set the captive free by retraining our minds to hear His truth, not the lies of the world. When He says that He restores sight to the blind, He's talking about those of us who don't really see ourselves in the mirror, but a distorted reflection of flesh and hatred. He gives us His eyes to view our true self, and to see areas of our life that need cleansing and healing- without the punishing taunt of guilt and failure. When He says that he sets free those who are downtrodden, He's talking about all of us who have dieted ourselves crazy, with the same disappointing results! He's talking about the cycles of throwing up that you want to stop, but can't seem to.
Jesus wouldn't have shared this mission statement over His life if He wasn't fully able to deliver on it. He does set free. He does restore sight. He does lift and retrain the downtrodden! He has a plan for your life that doesn't include the misery of disordered eating. You can count on His words and truth. His mission statement won't fail or forsake you.

Whose voice are we listening to?

In his book When the Enemy Strikes Charles Stanley writes "Never forget the devil's purposes:

• To draw you away from God
• To thwart God's purpose for your life
• To deny the glory of God in your life
• To destroy you in any way he can, including physical health"

The misuse of food is a tool that Satan uses to draw us away from God. As a matter of fact, as long as we're preoccupied with a poor self-image, bizarre eating patterns, and obsession with dieting and purging, we're limited in the freedom and joy we can live out with God. It's not that they can't coexist- it's just that they aren't firing on all cylinders.

God has a lot to say about freedom. His words bring hope, as Paul explains:

It was for freedom that Christ set us free, therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1)

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death. (Romans 8:1-2)

Any voice that opposes God's call to freedom in a believer's life is false. Any voice that stifles hope or mocks the belief that we can live free from bondage is not from God. He is our greatest cheerleader, and He is the provider of our finest victories.

Eating as Community Behavior

Sorry I've been so absent on my blog! I've been traveling nonstop, and finally have been able to sit down and breath... just in time for the holidays! Actually, I love the holidays, and they are even sweeter to me as I live my life free from the pain of overeating, purging, and starving.

Many women I speak to equate the holidays with overeating, or the panic of having to figure out what to eat or not eat. Sweets and treats, parties and functions- all lend themselves the opportunity to enjoy the people, gatherings, and food that we are around, or the opportunity to eat (purge, restrict) to our destruction.
God seemed to have three things in mind when he created our bodies to need food:
1.) We need a variety of foods for our bodies to function well
2.) We have taste buds so that we can enjoy food and the flavors they provide
3.) We can eat in community rather than in isolation and secrecy

Around the holidays we are typically eating in community more than other times of the year. Many women don't eat in front of others, only to binge on food later. Baking becomes disastrous as dozens of treats are consumed before they are wrapped. Those struggling on the anorexic end worry about what they will be served and how they can hide their restrictive habits.

A perfect contrast to this is Jesus' approach to food. He ate when hungry, stopped when satisfied, and loved the community act of sharing a meal together. His good friends Martha, Mary and Lazarus routinely ate meals together and talked. His first miracle was performed at a blow-out wedding where the party would have ended in disgrace if He didn't step in. And some of the most profound words found in the Bible took place at a last supper.

The fuel to disordered eating is secrecy and isolation. So this holiday season, let's enjoy the food and company we have. Let's savor the conversations rather than the plot to get rid of the food later. Let's celebrate the taste buds we have, and the texture of rich conversation and love. It's a delicacy too precious to ignore.

Hunger or habit?

Why do we eat what we do? What pushes us, prods us, and pulls us towards food?
As I stood in my hotel room this week, traveling around the country like a vagabond for the organization I consult for, I recognized that hunger often has very little to do with why we eat.

I arrived at my hotel tired and stressed as I thought about the days that were ahead. My husband was waiting to hear about a big job opportunity, one that would put him back in the major leagues as a coach, after a heartbreaking exit from the NY Yankees coaching staff- and all I wanted to do was eat crackers! I was nervous, tired, and a bit on edge- and my instinct was to grab the bag of cheddar rice cakes that I brought along in my suitcase.
Instead, I dropped to my knees beside the hotel bed and bowed my head. I asked God to fill the hole in my heart and nerves, instead of me numbly eating crackers.
A sense of purpose and peace came over me as I stood up. After living free from food compulsion for over 20 years, I still know my weak times. Those times I'd like to grab food out of the desire to feel numb, or to erase nerves and apprehension. We all eat from emotion at times...a cup of great cocoa when it's cold and we want to feel cozy, the chocolate when PMS is raging in our bodies, chicken soup when we feel sick and want to be comforted. There's nothing wrong with that at all! The trouble starts when we turn an emotion into an eating habit.
Soon the habit is how we function- rather than feeling our lives as God has intended We stuff our days and nights with drive-thru raids, cupboard hoards, and compulsive eating, rather than feeling the pain or mundane of life.
Even Jesus Himself felt bored, lonely, angry, hurt, apprehensive, joyful, sorrowful, disappointed, and let down by those he loved and trusted. But we don't see Him stuffing away His pain with figs, bread, fish or wine. He felt it. He lived it. He believed in a greater purpose than momentary discomfort.
We are invited to feel our lives rather than stuff them. I think I'll R.S.V.P to that invitation today.

Voices We Hear in our Heads

Have you ever stopped to think about what you hear in your head? The endless banter and chatter almost becomes natural to us- except for the fact that there is nothing natural about beating yourself up daily. Author Tim Hansel states that the average person speaks about 120 words a minute, but psychologist tell us that when we self-talk, that is carry on conversations in our heads, we speak at a rate of about 1,300 words a minute...70% of those words being negative! So where do these voices come from?
Most of what drives disordered eating plays out in the head before we ever grab a spoon or fork. Lies and accusations rant in our minds. "You will always fail." "You'll never change."
"There is no such thing as freedom. This is as good as it gets." On and on, like a bad tape stuck in a recorder- the messages play in our minds. Most voices we hear come from one of three sources:

• Our parents (spoken and unspoken)
• Our culture (media, peers, teachers)
• Satan (called the "Accuser" (Revelation 12:10) and "Father of Lies" (John 8) by Jesus

It's Satan's voices that really toy with our minds as we attempt to separate truth from lies. Charles Stanley, in his book When the Enemy Strikes points out that Satan has a few main purposes:

• To draw you away from God
• To thwart God's purpose for your life
• To deny the glory of God in your life

Food has been a brilliant tool in his hand to draw us away from God. The lies and accusations we feel heap condemnation and despair on us rather than hope and freedom. Speak back to the lies! Don't believe them anymore...call them out! There is truth and inspiration waiting in God's whispers of belief in you...

(For more on this topic check out chapter 6 in my book Truly Fed: Finding Freedom from Disordered Eating www.trulyfed.com )

Why Hunger?

What's our problem with hunger? I've done a lot of pondering on this topic, and have come to realize that we were created with a need for hunger. When our bodies are done using what they've been fed, we are supposed to feel the trigger of hunger. The problem is, we are so used to either stuffing ourselves throughout the day, listening to diets and food plans that tell us when to eat and how much, bingeing on food to the point of feeling ill, or abusing hunger (anorexia)going after its starvation effect. Why are we so afraid to experience the normal function of hunger in our lives?
I believe we experience three types of hunger:
Body Hunger: This is the natural function of the body that uses up the food we ingest, and then needs to be filled again.

Spirit Hunger: The desire to be filled spiritually by communicating with God in prayer, learning from the word (the bible), fellowship with other believers, and experiencing the beauty of God within creation (nature, music, people).

Emotional Hunger: Eating to cover up an emotion such as boredom, loneliness, fear, anger, stress or frustration.

Many times we are really hungry spiritually, yet we stuff in food rather than turn to God. Sometimes we have an emotion that is glaring, yet we eat to cover it up and not "feel" it. Sometimes our bodies are just plain hungry, yet we deny our body the satisfaction of feeding it properly, or binge instead of listening to what our bodies need. Paying attention to what kind of hunger we are experiencing can start to undo disorder when it comes to food.

Garbage in the trash can or garbage in my body

I've been traveling a ton lately, and each time I go through airport security I watch a ritual that amazes me. As people near the check point where their luggage will be inspected and liquids aren't allowed, a frenzy of liquid consumption takes place. Bottles of soda, whipped cream coffee drinks a mile high, waters, teas, and juices are downed in lightning speed. The comments of these frenzied drinkers are always the same "I can't take this with me, I better finish it up!" I wonder how many of these people actually want or enjoy what they are slamming down in those harried moments before going through security.
It brings up a point I constantly think of when I think about being free from food bondage. If I don't want or need the food or drink, I can easily throw it away, because it's garbage in the trash can, or garbage in my body. I'll choose the trash can!
For many of us we grew up being taught that we had to clean our plates, regardless of feeling stuffed or not hungry. "There are starving children in India!" was a phrase I remember hearing from well meaning adults. The truth is, eating what I don't want just to not waste food, is wasting it in my body! Our bodies are not trash cans, and eating what we don't need never helps anyone in India either.
We were created with a miraculous mechanism in our digestive system that alerts us when we are feeling full so that we can stop eating, feel satisfied, and move on to something else. The problem is that we are accustomed to not listening to that mechanism. We leave the table with pants unzipped, feeling guilty and overstuffed. Next time you are feeling full, but still have food in front of you remember this phrase "It's garbage in the trash can, or garbage in my body...I'll choose the trashcan!"

Battle of the Binge

I was talking to a lovely woman yesterday about her struggles with food. She was lamenting the fact that she has gained weight due to binging. Throughout the year she had taken two Truly Fed classes, and experienced the joy of freedom, but had crawled back to her old habits and heartache with food. As we were talking I thought about the actual reality around binge eating. As I see it, there are two types of binges: a premeditated binge and a tidal wave binge.
A premeditated binge is one where you plan in advance what you are going to stuff yourself with. Thoughts of a drive-thru romp, a blaze through the snack aisle at the grocery store, or the plan to bake something and devour it by yourself- all result from a premeditated plan to consume a large amount of food secretly.
A tidal wave binge is when you are eating a meal or snack, and the taste of the food, or the feeling you get from eating it, completely overtakes you. Like a tidal wave that has gained momentum over the ocean, the desire to consume insane amounts of food washes over you and crashes upon your taste buds, hands, and stomach. Before you know it, wrappers, bags, and boxes have been emptied, leaving great destruction behind.
Here's the good news... God cares about binging, and is there as an ever present help to redirect our premeditation, and to stop the tidal waves. Think about these truths as you enter into binge habits:
Premeditated binges~ Psalm 19: 14
"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my rock, and my redeemer."

Tidal Wave binges~ Romans 12:21
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

We can change the way we think and respond to food. We don't have to be slaves to the lure of binging!

What should I weigh?

Have you ever thought about the relentless pursuit we sometimes engage in to attain a weight that doesn't make sense for us? I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I don't get on a scale very often. In my old behavior I wore that scale on my finger like a mood ring. If it was high, I was miserable. If it was low, I was thrilled, and anticipated a good day.
When I began to heal from food bondage I remember thinking about a novel idea. Why not pray and ask God what a good weight for me is? After all, He created me- He might have a decent clue what a good weight for me might be! Once I uttered a prayer about this, I instantly knew what the right weight for me was. Not too thin, but thinner than the doctor's charts that dictate a certain weight for a height. I have stayed within the same 4- 5 pound range of that weight for over 20 years now. Sometimes the scale dips a bit lower by a pound or two, and sometimes it's a pound or two higher- but the difference is my reaction to it. No more mood ring for me! If it's higher I become more intentional with my food intake for a few days (sowing seeds as I call it in my book Truly Fed), and if it's lower I just continue with my life as usual. The scale is not a dictator! It doesn't have any real power. It's just numbers on a piece of metal. The real power is in your ability to walk towards freedom, to pray for wholeness, and to accept God's wisdom and direction for a new way of living with food.

A Day in the Life of a Freedom Finder

I often ask people in Truly Fed classes to imagine what a entire day would look like, free from the control of food. They squirm and ponder- and painfully confess that they can't really picture it, because every one of their senses is so warped with destructive behavior towards food.
Today I flew in a small propeller plane from Denver to South Dakota to do some consulting. As I drove past farms, hay stacks, and a robin blue sky based against the Black Hills, I thought about my former life compared to my current life. Back in the old days- food would have been on my mind every minute. What am I going to eat? Where can I get what I want? Will I be able to eat a normal quantity without getting sick? Do I want to binge tonight? I can starve it off later? Where can I work out?
My mind hurts just thinking about the mental cyclone that was typical in my daily thinking. Today it's completely different. I actually enjoy where I am, being present in every place that God brings me. Today it's South Dakota, and it's beautiful. I've been here for hours and haven't even thought about food once! In a few minutes I'm going to drive to Mnt. Rushmore and enjoy it, and then look for a place to eat. I'll eat what I want, usually healthy, but not restrictive, and stop when I feel full. I'll go to bed and feel great when I wake up, because binging and overeating are not part of my habitual behavior any more. Freedom is the gift, no... treasure- that we all can have. We all deserve it, and God wants us to live that way. Many people say to me, "Well maybe this is just the cross I have to bear in my life!" Not true! Some say "This is my one pleasure in life!" Overeating, binging, or starving is not a pleasure, it's a counterfeit. Freedom is the exhilaration of knowing that you won't ever return to your self-deception. It's knowing that God is your biggest cheerleader, and will direct and lead you to taking the chains off your life.

What is truth regarding food?

Have you ever wondered about truth? Do we really know what truth is in our lives? Jesus says something profound and powerful when He says "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." How does the truth set us free? It releases us by shedding light on what is a lie, and what is real. Lies are masked as reality, when actually they are just poisonous whispers.
Lies regarding food:
Life will never change. I will always feel like a failure with food.
I have no self- control or discipline in my life.
I have to be perfect with food- or I am a complete loser. (Perfect dieting leading to crazy binging)
Food is my one pleasure and escape. It's all I have.
Truth regarding food:
I was created with taste buds to enjoy food, but not abuse it.
I can make good choices regarding food, and change behaviors that have led me to despair.
I have fullness in life that doesn't need food to numb me.
I can eat in community and communion- rather than secrecy and isolation.

Seek after truth. When I began replacing the lies that ran me ragged with truth, my life completely changed. It was like pushing the off button to a bad CD playing on a giant boom box.
May your truth play loudly today- replacing the ugly lies.

Being flexible with food... Ouch!

I just had a bizarre experience with food- even after 22 years of freedom from food related compulsivity. As I have been traveling with my husband through minor league baseball towns- eating at strange times and not on any routine, I have pondered the state of my freedom. I typically eat one meal each day here(a good meal and I eat only until I feel full) and by the time his baseball game is over, it's late, and I eat only a snack, even though I'm really hungry by then. It's unlike my routines at home where work and daily schedules dictate a more normal eating pattern. This morning my husband and I woke up and went for a run. We then showered and ran some errands, and planned to go to a restaurant that I loved for lunch. It was around 12:30, and I was really hungry. Right before we got to the restaurant my husband mentioned wanting to check out the buffet offered at the hotel we were staying at. I said sure, thinking that of course he would rather eat at the place I wanted to, but I'd go along with the "checking it out" to be polite. Once we got into the buffet he said he'd rather eat there, and I agreed that it was OK, even though I really wanted to eat a particular salad that I loved at the place across the street I prayed a silent prayer that I wouldn't be grumpy or unpleasant to my husband or son. The meal wasn't nearly as good as what I hoped for, but I made the best of it. Later in the day I had to ponder a few tough questions: Was I so locked into my hope for that good meal that I was willing to risk good time with my family over it? Am I just so used to getting my way with my husband that when he actually had a desire that opposed mine I was mad? I thought and prayed about these questions all day as they perplexed me. I know I'm free and so happy with my freedom, but sometimes there are interesting fragments of selfish compulsion that try and push their way into my heart. Being flexible is a sure sign of true growth in someone that struggles, or at one time struggled with anorexia. This was a great reminder of that truth..

Tenacity for the long haul

Eating is something we must do daily. It's not like alcohol or drugs, where you can eliminate them from your life altogether, and be better for it. Not only do we need to eat, but God created taste buds on our tongues for a reason. We were meant to enjoy food! For so many of us, eating has become a curse. A giant blotch on the linen of our lives. The goal of Truly Fed, and the message of my book, is that freedom is the pursuit, not perfection in dieting. Dieting is a carnal way of fighting a spiritual battle. It doesn't work for the long haul. In his classic work titled My Utmost for His Highest Oswald Chambers defines tenacity as "The absolute certainty that what we hope for will transpire." When we believe that we can live and function differently with food, something begins to happen within us. We allow the power and cleansing of God to scrub this area of our lives for His good, and our own good. It's a scrubbing that changes who we are...

The Freedom we Find in Discipline

Freedom and discipline seem to war against each other. When we think of freedom we often think of lazy days at the beach, or being free to do whatever we want. The truth is, freedom is never actually free. The only way we enjoy freedom, is through an understanding of discipline. When is comes to food, we're free to eat what we want to eat, but not gluttonously. We lose freedom when gluttony enters the picture. Gluttony never invites freedom. Its only companions are guilt, failure, and stomach aches! I remember back in my "prison days" with food, I never felt free. I felt like I had no self-control. I hated myself for it, but it drove my emotions and self-image like an angry drill sergeant. Now that I am free I realize that I don't need to overeat food to feel satisfied. There is a powerful scripture in the bible that talks about sowing seeds to the flesh for destruction, or sowing seeds to the spirit for life. Life-sowing seeds regarding food and eating are what changed my life for over 22 years now. What a wonderful feeling it is to be Truly Fed and Truly Free!

Disordered eating!!!

Dealing with disordered eating can consume your life. It's not just the extremes of anorexia and bulimia, but the yo-yo dieting that lasts for years- even decades. It's the hatred of your body and the picking apart of thighs and tummies. It's the accusing after eating anything that's not on the "good food" list. Years ago I almost took my life due to the pain of compulsive overeating, and anorexia. On the verge of suicide I asked God to save my life, and show me real truth regarding food and habits. I've been free for over 20 years now, and I love to share this brilliant hope with others. If you are struggling with any type of disordered eating, rest assured... there is hope!