Giving More Presence

A few weeks ago Bobby and I attended a conference called Pro Athletes Outreach. It was a powerful time for athletes and their wives to refuel and refocus who we are and what we do.

One of the featured speakers was a pastor from St. Louis. He was one of those guys that you love to listen to. Hip but not trite. Authentic without being pushy. On the last day of the conference he shared something that has blown across the nation like a storm. He called it The Advent Conspiracy. It's wildly simple in its tenants- yet considered a "conspiracy" because it's so counter to the direction our culture swims. Even Whoopi Goldberg is talking about it- and that's huge...

*Spend less on yourself
*What you don't spend on yourself try to give to someone or something
*Give your loved ones more presence than presents

That last one really got me. What does it mean to give people my presence? Presents are easy. You buy them, wrap them, and give them away... But presence is different. Presence means that I will really listen to what my kids/husband/ and friends are saying. Instead of token nods and hurried listening- I will truly engage in what they are saying. I will think about their concerns and pray for them sincerely after our conversations are through.

Jesus was the master of presence. Everything about Him oozed authentic engagement. He fed people that were hungry. He healed people that were hurting. He laughed and cried with His friends. He pleaded with His Father for the hearts of people.

Have you ever noticed that Jesus never gave a present that was bought and wrapped? You don't read about Him popping into the Jerusalem Target to pick up a few gifts. He simply gave His presence- and that was big enough to alter the world.

I still have wrapped gifts under the tree, and I can't wait for our family to enjoy them, but this year I'm more concerned with presence...a gift that no price tag can define.

Blessings...
Gari

Life is Like a Sticky Note

I am addicted to sticky notes. I've been known to walk around for a full hour with a sticky note attached to my forehead. The fluorescent colors make me wild, and don't even get me started on the sticky notes that come in the shape of a heart or flower...
I use stickies for a myriad of purposes: to remind me of something I need to do, someone I need to talk to, or something I need to pray about. To mark a powerful part of something I'm reading, something I need to use in my writing, or something I want to use when I teach.

When I was in Uganda this summer working with kids and teachers at an orphanage, it was fascinating to see their reaction to sticky notes. Just the colors and fact they stuck on everything, including skin, was enough to hold the kids spell bound- regardless of the purposes we were trying to introduce for their use. Let's face it- sticky notes are one of the great inventions of the last few decades. If I could personally thank the creator of the colorful little square paper with a glue-like tab at the top I would.

As I ponder the wonders of sticky notes I'm reminded of the picture you see at the top of my blog. I snapped this photo at the end of a gathering I led. We all had piles of sticky notes in front of us, and we silently wrote out sticky after sticky reflecting on what we feared- the voices that plagued our minds reminding us of how we fall short or somehow seem to disappoint God- or the ways we constantly seem to boomerang back to old patterns of behavior we hate.

When we were done writing on the stickies, I asked the group to gather around a table where we quietly stuck them, one by one, on the cross.

At first it seemed a little contrived and weird. Sticky notes on a cross? But when we were done, and the tears were falling, it was actually quite beautiful. Like a Christmas tree that is adorned with lights and sparkles, the cross was now adorned with pain, conflict, and a kind of fluorescent hope.

To be able to put our fears on the cross is the ultimate sticky note. You can write them out, then get rid of them- not needing to keep them attached to your forehead as a reminder of past failures. They now stick to the cross- where Jesus bears their print.

"For it was the Father's good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in Him, and through Him to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His Cross..." (Colossians)

If you need a little sticky note therapy this week, I encourage you to get a pack and write like crazy. But don't keep the sticky notes around you or on you, put them on a cross.

Blessings-
Gari

Does God Like You?

As I sit at a table in my office (Panera Bread) and write, I am struck with how many holy encounters seem to take place in this restaurant. Behind me I hear a woman sharing her broken heart over a failed relationship. Next to me a team of teachers meet to discuss the problems they encounter with a certain troubled teen. Across from them sits an elderly man, alone, while he brings his hot chicken noodle soup to his lips.

Christmas is nearing, and as I look at the cookies and bread displayed on the counter, and the "huddles" of people gathering to talk or share a problem- a question stirs in me... "Does God like us?" I mean it. Does He like us?

We hear the litany of religious phrases that say God loves us. He has a plan for our lives, and so on. But does He like us?

The last few days one line of scripture has circulated and percolated in my mind. It's from the gospel of Luke in a scene that is utterly unexpected and wild.

After Mary gave birth to Jesus in a stable filled with animals and manure, she may have been questioning whether she had missed God's best. Was this really the way that God planned for His son to enter the scene? At the very least maybe she could have expected a bed with sheets rather than straw and animal sounds. But here's where the story comes full circle.

In that same region some shepards were on a hill. We tend to romanticize shepards now days because when you really think about it- how many shepards do you know? But during Mary's day, the shepards were the blue-collar workers who did the hard work with little pay or glory. Think of them as modern day truckers... So on a cold winter's night all of the sudden heaven ripped open and thousands and thousands of angels are singing and partying, the likes of which we can only imagine- and do you know what they said?
" Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to mankind
with whom He is pleased."

In the midst of the Christmas story, and the pain or busyness of life, we tend to overlook these words. God is pleased with us.

It's not because we have behaved well. It's not because we are the most attractive religiously. The shepards certainly weren't the most attractive, influential people of their day. As a matter of fact they were somewhat snubbed and looked down on. Yet isn't it mind blowing that they were the first to hear this life changing news?

God likes you. He is pleased with you. And He has sent a gift beyond compare in His son Jesus. A baby born into the manure of a stable- much like the manure of our life.

From that event rings the cry of God to the world... I like you. I am thrilled with you. Let the angels party and sing with abandon because this is still His love song over our lives.

Blessings-
Gari

Crushing Waves

Do you ever feel like your life resembles trying to swim under this wave? Just the sheer magnitude and power of the water is enough to make you lose your breath- let alone the current it has to tumble you under its weight.

There have been times in my faith where I felt like a beginning surfer trying to navigate the surf off the coast of Australia... Unprepared, weak, insignificant, and used to a sense of failure when it comes to big waves. The pull and undertow of habits and compulsions seem to draw me in- ready to destroy the peace and promise I know is mine in Christ...but sometimes seems like an illusive dream.

In the fourth chapter of Mark an amazing story about waves takes place. Jesus is in a boat with His disciples, asleep- when the weather takes a drastic change. Fierce gale winds are tossing the boat around, and the waves are coming in over the side of the boat...so much so that the bible says the boat is filling up!

In the midst of this mini-Titanic Jesus is asleep in the front of the boat. This is symbolic on so many levels. The disciples are in a full panic- standing over the sleeping Savior while wringing their hands in worry and despair. Finally they wake Him up with a comment that is passive,aggressive, and downright angry... "Teacher, don't you care that we are perishing?" Jesus looks around at the waves, possibly yawns, and says "Hush, be still." The Bible says that the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. Seriously...

I love what Jesus says to the disciples (and to us) next. He says "Why are you so timid? How is it that you have no faith?" Goodness knows that when waves are crashing around us the last thing we typically feel is filled with faith- yet Jesus says "Don't be timid- you don't have to be afraid!"

Truthfully, the reason we don't have to be afraid has nothing to do with the capacity of our faith. It has everything to do with the fact that Jesus is on your boat ...and He isn't afraid. That's where I put my faith. Not in the craftsmanship of the boat maker, not in the weather patterns of the sea, and certainly not in my ability to surf the currents...it's in His ability to stop the crashing waves of my life with one word, or to be my personal lifeguard when the undertow is too strong.

Blessings!
Gari

Extreme Life Makeover

This picture was taken of me (on the left) and a few of the Astro's wives as we stopped by the set of Extreme House Makeover this summer. A family in Houston was selected to receive a new home- and we got to be a part of seeing this happen. The family of 7 lived in a literal shack. To make matters worse, since the hurricane that hit this area a few years ago, rats lived in the home with them! They were a deserving family who counseled married couples and helped those in their community. To see a beautiful home resurrected on the same property that their former shack sat on was pure inspiration.
It got me thinking about how God does Extreme Life Makeovers on us... The kind of makeover that can rebuild a life broken from habits, compulsion, and despair. The kind of makeover that says "I don't care how trashed out you are, or what condition the walls of your life are in...I can rebuild them."

It was fascinating to watch the "real" process of the home makeover- not the version we watch on TV (which I love...and always have a box of Kleenex handy). The day of the reveal it was about 100 degrees, and humidity to match. But people showed up in herds. The camera men asked us to yell "move that bus" about 15 different times so they could capture just the right angle on film. Once the family got out and there were screams and cries- they went into their new home. Quickly I realized that the home wasn't even near completion! I was told by one of the directors that they were ushered into a small unfinished room, and it would actually take another week at least to finish the home. So much for "reality" TV! I wanted to believe that it romantically transpires just like we see on the television- the door opens and it's automatically lovely. The truth is... it takes time. Just like God's work in us takes time.
When we let Jesus rebuild, remake, repaint, uncover, and restore- we witness an unveiling like no other.

I know God's Extreme Life Makeovers are possible. I was chosen for one, and have been crying in thanks ever since. Instead of "Move that bus!" maybe we can cry out "Change my life...".

It's the ultimate reality...
Blessings!
Gari

Asking, Seeking, Knocking

One day after Jesus had spent some time praying, when He returned to His disciples they asked Him to teach them how to pray. Jesus started by showing His pattern for prayer... "Father , hallowed is your name... (praise and posture of worship)
Your kingdom come...(what you are doing in the spiritual realm, let us see in the physical realm) Give us this day our daily bread...(give me what food I need to sustain and enjoy, not to abuse or be compulsive with) And forgive us our sins... (and help me to forgive myself when I've messed up with food because I wouldn't treat others as harshly as I treat myself) And lead us not into temptation... (help me to realize that freedom isn't the absence of temptation, but the ability to not get sucked into it)...

After Jesus shared this model of prayer, He gave an example of a man that was quite frankly, rude in his behavior. At about midnight, he comes banging on his neighbor's door looking for food. It wasn't even food for himself or his family because they were in need, it was simply food for some people that had dropped by. Like going to a friend's house at midnight to borrow a pizza for some other friends. Rude! But Jesus uses this man, rude behavior and all to prove a point. He says that even though this man was ridiculous in his behavior, because of his persistence, he got what he needed.

In other words, when we are postured for real prayer, not prayer whining or worry with a few "God words" attached... with some persistence, we will hear God. We will see Him move, work , and show us ways to move towards freedom and hope with food rather than defeat and wallowing.

If we persistently ask God to open our eyes to layers of healing, to inspire us with His word and the hope for a different relationship with food... life begins to change.

Much love sweet blogging friends...
Gari

Garbage in the trash can or garbage in my body

It's the day after Halloween. Our doorbell rang off the wall last night for about three hours as I dashed to the door to hand out candy of all sorts to little warriors, princesses, super heroes and cheerleaders. They were darling! (For my readers from Africa we have this custom in America on October 31 where kids dress in costumes, go from house to house, and get candy that they store in a bag or pillowcase!)

When I knew it was too late for another trick-or-treater I looked at Bobby and sighed. We bought too much candy...again! I'm really not a big candy lover, and Bobby only enjoys it occasionally. So we accessed our candy loot, saved a few pieces we thought we would like, and threw the rest out. I know some readers are gasping right now! What about the waste? Why couldn't we find a way to give it away? How can you put something as yummy as candy in the trash?

Back when I was teaching I would bring the leftover stash to my classroom and use it throughout the year- but since I don't have a classroom now, it goes into the trash- and I can honestly tell you it doesn't bother me a bit. As a matter of fact- it's actually quite liberating.

I remember a time when I would have compulsively eaten away at that candy stash...damaging my heart, soul, body and teeth! Somewhere along the line we have bought the lie that if we throw food out we are terrible people. Yet we are willing to waste it in our bodies. The logic is crazy, yet we abide by it, thinking it's better to eat food we don't want or need to avoid wasting it. Here's a bit of truth to chew on... Our bodies are not garbage cans to be filled with compulsive amounts of food.

It's so freeing to throw something out instead of consuming it in guilt and deceit.

I often think of these words penned by the apostle Paul "Food is for the stomach, and the stomach is for food; but God will do away with both of them. Yet the body is not for immorality, but for the Lord- and the Lord is for the body." (1 Cor. 6:13)

In other words, all the fretting, hiding, dieting, binging, and lamenting food...in the end- means nothing. It's just food. Our bodies (and sane minds) are for the Lord, and He is for our bodies. How wonderful!

So if you struggle with not wasting food, please realize that eating compulsively to not waste- is waste inside our bodies. It's OK to get rid of food that you don't really want or need. I often say this phrase "Garbage in the trash can, garbage in my body- I'll pick the trash can..."

Craving Solid Food Instead of the Bottle

I always promised myself I wouldn't be one of those people that shared pictures of their kids and grand kids. It used to annoy me when people would whip out those tattered photos as if the world just couldn't wait to stop and stare at the strangers in the snapshot. So here I am sharing a picture of the new love of my life...our grandchild Reese. She's 9 months old and absolutely captivating.

As I watch her grow and interact with the world, I am struck by the process of maturing. When she was born she couldn't function without constant care and nourishing. She mostly slept her life away in a daze of sucking and nuzzling. As she has grown, she can now hold her own bottle, move around independently, and her doctor has said she can eat solid food for every meal. Gasp... She's not a little baby anymore. She's in a new stage of her life.

I'm reminded how God desires for us to grow up too. It's amazing how many grown-ups walk around with spiritual pacifiers still stuck in their mouths. I know- because I was one of them! Wanting to grow up and mature, but not sure I could live without my pacifier in hand.
The apostle Paul says "For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of God, and have come to need milk, and not solid food."

Goodness knows there's nothing worse than wanting to bite into a delicious sandwich, but instead needing to suck your food out of a bottle. There comes a point when we have to decide to grow up spiritually. I remember when the desire to be fed and entertained on a spiritual level began to turn into a desire to grow, shed off immature behaviors and habits, and love others. My habits and behaviors with food constantly got in the way of maturing because of the mental space they took up in my head. The constant focus on food didn't leave room for true growth and adventure with the Lord.

When I began to shed the immaturity- reading and studying God's word, letting Him redefine and recreate my babyish ways- a mature woman began to form. OK- so I still have my moments of "teen-age" incoherence at times...but the pay-off for maturing is remarkable. Solid food always beats baby food jars of green peas and sweet potatoes. We can exchange our pacifiers for true security and identity.
Blessings!
Gari

From Tears to Treasure

As I sit in a coffee shop, lap top in hand, I'm thinking about the group of ladies I just left. Women from different age groups, hair color, and pant sizes- yet we share one common bond--we want to be free from the traps and heartache of bondage to food compulsion.

The ladies had a different look in their eyes today then they have the previous 6 weeks that we have met and shared time together. They are now fully aware that their lives weren't so carefully covered in Saran Wrap as they thought. It's all unraveling- and you know what? It's a good unwrapping!

When we finally come to the end of our excuses, blandness, and numbing- we can move towards freedom. In the gospel of John Jesus asks a man that has been 38 years in some kind of infirmity (most scholars think he was paralyzed) "Do you wish to get well?" The man quickly answers that he does want to get well, but there are some things keeping him from getting there. Jesus then profoundly tells him to get up, take up his mat, and walk. Essentially, Jesus tells him to stop laying on the dirty mat that has defined your thinking, and get up and walk towards a new life.

From tears to treasure...this is how God can change our lives when we choose to get up, take up our mats, and walk.

May you see your beauty as God does today.
Blessings...
Gari

Waking from a Dangerous Slumber

I love to sleep. Most people do! Yet for years of my life I struggled with the pursuit of good sleep. When I was in high school and college there was the constant pull of exams, activities, and noise that kept me awake. After I had babies the pursuit of sleep intensified as I functioned in a zombie-like state after soothing their nightly needs until they seemed to reach the age of three! Don't even get me started on the teenage years filled with sleepless nights waiting for them to come in safely. I finally thought I might be in for some good rest when they went to college, but that's when hormones seemed to move into my bedroom and we all would tuck ourselves in to bed at night hoping for a good snooze- but anticipating some nightly drama. My theory is that we want sleep, we need sleep- but sometimes it will escape us no matter what we do to try and enjoy it.
This week as I prepare to teach at church on Sunday I am studying a scripture in Ephesians that reminded me of my plight with sleep. Paul says three little lines that were probably a part of a hymn that the church in Ephesus sang together. It goes like this...
"Awake sleeper,
And arise from the dead,
And Christ will shine on you."

I realized when I first read this that Paul was saying something powerful. It's about our spiritual slumber- and how we live.

I remember feeling a bit like a sleep-walker in my relationship with food. I would numbly grab for food (or restriction of it when I was on an anorexic swing) and like a person in a deep sleep, compulsive thoughts of food would lull me like a bad lullaby.

Paul's words are an invitation...no...more like a command. He's saying "Get up! Wake up! Don't live like you're dead anymore!"

Why?

So that Christ will shine on you... His shining is like the rise of the sun after a perfect night's sleep. His shining fills, protects, and enlightens us. His shining melts off the deception and crust of our sleepy eyes.

Let's wake up out of our spiritual sleep- whatever that may look like. Let's live in the expectant hope of a Savior that is the ultimate alarm clock.
Blessings...
Gari

Letting go of Image Upkeep

This picture was taken of Brooke (our oldest), myself, my husband Bobby, our grand baby Reese, and our son Colton (our other daughter Ally was out of town and we graciously got to kidnap her baby for a few days!). In the middle of our picture is the team mascot for the Houston Astros. I have absolutely no idea why a rabbit is connected to the Astros...but it is. So there in the middle of our picture is a giant rabbit. We know that inside that costume someone is moving and breathing. Shaking hands and acting like a friendly, buck-teeth bunny. What we don't know is what that man under the costume really looks like. What is he thinking? Is he irritated with the costume, and uncomfortable moving around in it? Does he wish these annoying people would go away so he could take off his costume and drink a Diet Coke?
I remember living so many years of my life like this costumed bunny. Presenting a picture to the outside world that look friendly, sweet and inviting- when really I felt closed off, isolated, and bland. Food became a tricky substitute for the real engagement of relationships and Christ's love. In the book of Ephesians Paul talks about laying aside the old self. He says "...in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind."

What a joy it is to know that we don't have to live with fake rabbit heads covering us. We can choose to lay aside the old self- and shed our costumes. Paul goes on to say "...put on the new self, which in the likeness of God, has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth." I'll take that over buck teeth and fur any day.
Blessings...
Gari

Banquet with the King

I just finished teaching a Truly Fed class in my new home state of Texas. The last class of Truly Fed is always a bit emotional. We leave the room we start the class in, and move into a room that I have set up to look like a beautiful banquet table. I bring in real colored glass goblets, candles sparkle across the ivory lace tablecloths, beads and jewel looking strands grace every corner of the tables. I also take antique dishes and attach this scripture to them "'Behold, the former things are past. I declare new things' says the Lord. 'Before they spring forth I declare them.'" Isaiah 42:9

As we sit at the table, share communion, and reflect on the healing God designs in our lives I am reminded of something I once heard author Larry Crabb say. "Though we are created to sit at the banquet table and dine with the King, we often choose to crawl on the floor under the table looking for crumbs."

This is he perfect description of disordered eating. Crumb licking... Instead of enjoying food and functioning in a normal capacity with it- it crowds our minds and mental space, pushing out even the scent of a graceful God who never tires of inviting us to the table.

This day may be choose to eat with the King. I love you sweet sisters...

Overcoming our Spiritual Hysterics

Hello sweet blog friends! I'm so sorry I disappeared for so long!

In the past 5 months I wrapped up a career in educational consulting, spoke at various speaking engagements around the country, sold and moved out of our home in Colorado, drove a huge moving truck to Texas with a girlfriend (we affectionately nicknamed it "The Beast"), worked in Uganda for most of June, and settled into a new home and life in Houston! Whew...I"m tired just typing about it!

In the months that followed this blitz of travel and chaos I came into a time of mental fog. It seemed that every time I sat down to pray and read the Bible I felt like I was tunneling through an iceberg with a blow dryer! Why couldn't I get back to the mental sharpness I was used to functioning in? Why did I feel like I needed to go back to Christianity 101 to reign my tired brain into submission?

It was during this time that the Lord spoke so sincerely to my need for chaos and challenge. He said "wait"... Wait? Are you kidding? I'm a mover and a shaker. A believer in healing, goodness and inspiration. "No" He said..."Just wait."

Oswald Chambers, the brilliant writer and preacher from the early 1900's said something that I still read each day. It's written on a sticky note above my kitchen sink- now wet and stained. It simply says..."Are we detached enough from our own spiritual hysterics to wait on the Lord? To wait is not to sit with folded hands, but to learn to do what we are told."

When our spiritual hysterics are screaming and pushing. When we are addicted to challenge and chaos. Or when life simply seems to spiral in directions that are unexpected- we wait on God. Our kicking, screaming, fretting and manipulating does no good. We wait... And it's in the waiting that the spiritual fog lifts.

Blessings...
Gari

Rewiring our brains for change

Yesterday I talked about an article I read in Good Housekeeping. The gist of the article was that it is possible to rewire the neurological paths our brains function in. (If you didn't read yesterday's blog, check it out! There's some good research in it!) Some of the fall-out of poor brain functioning with food is: bingeing, eating with no regard to hunger, throwing up or feeling the need to "work-off" everything we ingest, using pills or laxatives to monitor routines with food, and simply over or under eating food regularly...living in fear that food will forever craft the way we view ourselves.
I remember a time when I lived in the middle of all of these behaviors. What a muddy mess! Then one day I stood in my closet and cried out to God..."Jesus, You say that we can have life, and life abundantly. This isn't abundant life- it's a hellish prison. Help me break out!"
That was the beginning of my brain rewiring.

So how do you go from the desire for brain surgery, to the actuality of living it? Here are a few of the things that I did both short-term and long-term to eradicate wrong thinking and habits, and replace them with truth and life.

1. Be honest with God and yourself about the behavior that has held you captive. No excuses or rationalizations! (Food is my only friend...I deserve this reward of food...It's no big deal if I overeat, tomorrow I'll diet!) Confess this thinking and ask God to forgive the mess we've participated in with food.

2. Be intentional with food like you would someone or something you love. Pay attention to what you eat-- not in a tormenting, dieting way, but a smart and excited way. I literally rewired my brain as to what I enjoy eating. Coming from a cheeseburger and Captain Crunch addict, this was huge. I am free to eat what I want, but most of the time I choose delicious, healthy food because I've rewired my brain to like them.

3. Understand that continuing to "present" my body as a slave to food is my choice. God doesn't love me any more or less according to my behavior with food, but by continuing to participate in the craziness, my life isn't what it could be. I love this scripture: "So consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Don't let sin reign in your body, that you would go on obeying its lusts. And don't go on presenting your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness, but present yourself to God, as alive from the dead!" (Romans 6:12)

Keep believing! Keep changing! Every small brain rewire is precious to God, because it means that you want to live a life free from bondage and full of hope.

Brain Surgery...Kind of...

I picked up a copy of the April edition of Good Housekeeping and loved an article I read by Geneen Roth. She is one of my favorite authors on compulsive eating, and I have several quotes from her in my book, Truly Fed. She talks about how she changed her behavior with food...really changed it..for good. She shared about the newest research regarding the plasticity of the brain, and how it is capable of learning new ways of behaving-creating new neural pathways- but doing so requires repetition,focus, and consistency. To change a habit you've got to change the wiring of the brain by doing things differently. She went on to say that the average time for real change is 66 days, but some people need as long as 254 days. "That's almost a year!" I've heard some people scream in anguish. But my response is "Yes it is...but how's it working for you now?" Typically they get the point. Anything worth doing, changing, or putting our hearts into, takes time and focus. I call it intentionality. We intentionally eat and live our lives, not randomly and haphazardly. Not ruled by the lure of binges and compulsivity, but sanity and hope.
I've been free from compulsive food behavior for over 20 years, and often I am asked "But how do you not return to the old behaviors that messed you up in he first place?"
It's a great question, with many phases to the answer, but my main response is "I've rewired my brain!" The habits I replaced my old behvior with are now the way I live and function with food. Geneen Roth says "Since whatever you pay attention to flourishes, I became an expert in agonizing about my behavior rather than changing it."
The gift we have, that Good Housekeeping doesn't mention, is the secret to the "brain surgery" we need. It goes like this... "Do not be conformed to this world, but be TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect." (Romans 12:2)
For the next few days I will talk about simple, but powerful ways we rewire our brains with food. It's not just Good Housekeeping, but Good Brainkeeping, and it's possible for every one of us- no matter how desperate or messed up we may feel!

What's Eating You?

I recently picked up an old book titled The Power of Positive Thinking. There was a line in this small book that grabbed my attention. "Many people suffer poor health not because of what they eat, but from what's eating them."

Often it's not what's being put into our mouths that causes heartache in our lives, but why we are putting it in our mouths!

Mindless eating with no regard for hunger, eating out of boredom, frustration, or loneliness. Eating because we are angry with someone, or mad at ourselves. Eating to fill a void or emptiness that food seems to temporarily fill. Eating to get back at someone,or numb ourselves... The truth is that we were created with three types of hunger that function in our lives.

1. Body hunger is the natural function of the body to eat, be satisfied, and then need to eat again when hunger arises.
2. Emotional hunger is the need for certain emotional needs to be met. Love, companionship, respect, hope...are all examples of emotional needs we have that long to be comforted and addressed.
3. Spirit hunger is when our spirit needs to feed from God's love and His words to us through the bible, prayer, and fellowship with other believers.

When we stuff these types of hunger with food alone, we are starving the actual needs, and blindly stuffing food down as the false answer to all that we feel or desire. We eat instead of pray. Eat instead of believe for better things in our lives. Eat instead of feeling an emotion that is scary or has no quick resolve. Maybe we need to put the food down and actually feel our lives. Turn away from the refrigerator or mocha latte and pray. Food is meant to be enjoyed, but not to be a security blanket. Only God's love and assurance give that kind of security.

The Antidote to Fear

I once heard a speaker say that fear is the most powerful of all thoughts- with one exception, and that exception is faith. Faith always overcomes fear. Master faith, and you will master fear. I love the thought of mastering fear, because deep at the core of disordered eating, I think fear lies, rotting and growing, spreading like a fungus on a wet rock.
** fear of no self-discipline
** fear that you will loose control
** fear that you will stay trapped in behaviors you hate
** fear that food will stay in the "bully" realm of your mind
** fear that other people "get it" and you don't
** fear that God is irritated with you on this topic- or worse-doesn't care
The first time the word fear is mentioned in the Bible is when Adam and Eve are being pursued by God after they have done something they are ashamed of. They hid because they were afraid to face God.
Why do we run from the very one that comforts us?
If the antidote to fear is faith- then the question is how do we turn our defeated, fearful minds into minds that exercise faith rather than condemnation? Faith rather than destructive habits? Faith rather than the overwhelming fear that nothing will ever change in our lives?
I believe in the "plunger" method- and I've used this method repeatedly in my freedom walk with food. Like a plunger unclogs a stopped drain, so this method unclogs my fearful mind. Every time a fearful thought invades my mind I replace it with thoughts based on scripture such as:
"Let not your heart be troubled, believe in God, believe also in Me." Jesus(John 14)

"Peace I leave you; My peace I give to you- not as the world give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." Jesus (John 14)

"Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, that your joy may be made full." Jesus (John 16:24)

Food has no power. It's just food. We give it the power to make us afraid.
May we plunge out the fear,and replace it with faith in a God bigger than what defeats us.

Pressure to live on a magazine page

As I sit here with my daughter in her condo in Atlanta, I have glanced at all the magazines she has on her glass coffee table in front of me. Every time I turn the last page of the magazine I'm struck with two thoughts:
1. How does my body, face, skin, and hair compare to those on the magazine pages?
2. I wonder what kind of insecurities the women on those pages face?

As Christians, we've all heard the verse from Psalms that says "I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Although our heads know this, it's hard for our hearts (thighs, tummies, stringy hair) to believe it! We look at women that seem to have it all- and we always fall short of that illusive glossy magazine page. When I get that sinking feeling, I remind myself that even those women on the pages don't look like the images portrayed. Their images have been cut, pasted, air brushed and doctored- and we are the victims that stand wistfully wishing we looked like someone other than ourselves.
At the heart of this is Satan's successful strategy to make us discontent and unhappy with who we are. As long as we stay wrapped up in this blanket, we don't really move freely in our lives- as God intends.
Discontentment leads us to envy what others have that we want. It makes us feel forgotten- as if God overlooked us in certain areas of creation, and it holds us back from freely expressing love and hope in our own lives and the lives of others that God brings to us. I can think back to many times I pushed away from opportunities to love because my pants felt too tight, or I felt intimidated by someone that looked better than me.
The good news is that in God's magazine, we are the front page cover girls! We are precious, and perfect for the exact life He has planned for us. This is more than something we tell ourselves to make us feel better. It is the truth...splashed across the pages of God's word, and the faces of God's women. We are fearfully and wonderfully made- no matter how the current magazine cover makes us feel.

Can you picture your life free from weird behavior with food? What would a day released from the nag of food look like? Many women I know have answered these questions with painful resolve. "I can't even pretend to picture a day in my life that's not wrecked by food..." they moan.

In the book of Habakkuk 2:3 God tells us to record our vision, so that the one who reads it may run. When I first began to get free from food bondage, I remember reading this verse, and literally creating a vision of myself free from the torture of my mental bullying with food. As I began to write this vision down, I enjoyed the thoughts of waking up in the morning with something other than food on my mind. I loved to imagine going through my day not thinking about what I could and could not eat, and dressing for the day without a barrage of negative comments smacking against my heart. At first I thought the vision was just wishful thinking, but then I read further into the verse.
"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It testifies about the end, and it cannot lie.
Though it delays, wait for it, it will not fail. It certainly will come."
I realized that I needed to have a vision of my life, free from anorexic restriction and compulsive overeating. I needed to picture this life, and how I could live in it. Although it felt like the impossible dream at first- I wrote it down, and continued to look at it. The vision of freedom became my prayer of hope.
Oswald Chamber defines tenacity as "The absolute certainty that what you hope for will transpire." With God, tenacious prayer and vision always align with His character. He breathes life into our hopeless vision of ourselves, and helps us recreate a new vision of who we were mean to be.

Struggles

I listened to a message today that was left for me on my voice mail. It was one of my sweet friends that has been through Truly Fed classes, and currently leads a group called Truly Fed: Going Deeper, when I am away. The tone of her voice was sad and defeated- yet at the end of the message she mentioned the powerful word hope. What do we do during times of struggle? How is it possible to experience seasons of freedom with food, and then fall back into patterns of destruction and despair?

We shouldn't be surprised when these times smash into our lives. We should expect them. When Jesus was teaching His disciples to pray, He said "Lead us away from temptation" not "Keep them perfect and robotic!" When freedom is your heart cry with food-- giving up binges and overeating, walking away from restriction and starvation, or denying the urge to purge what's been ingested-- there is always what I call a holy tension that takes place. You want to pursue the freedom and the hope of life free from compulsion, but sometimes a dark force seems to take over and we end up behaving in ways that we hate. Paul got it right when he described this battle in Romans. "Why do I do the very thing I hate?" he moaned. Then he reflected that it was the sin inside him. But he didn't stay stuck there. His next utterance was "Thank goodness I have a Savior that doesn't condemn and has set me free from this horrible predicament." When you feel like you are returning to old behavior, recognize that Satan likes to whisper to you that people really don't change. He wants you to believe that what you thought was freedom was just a temporary blip on your screen of failure with food. During the phase in which I was healing from food bondage I remember saying "I know I'm free. I'm just not acting like it this moment." This enabled me to believe in a bigger freedom movement that was taking place in my life- not just the small picture of a momentary action. Your freedom isn't a blip...it is the picture of your new life!