Letting go of Image Upkeep

This picture was taken of Brooke (our oldest), myself, my husband Bobby, our grand baby Reese, and our son Colton (our other daughter Ally was out of town and we graciously got to kidnap her baby for a few days!). In the middle of our picture is the team mascot for the Houston Astros. I have absolutely no idea why a rabbit is connected to the Astros...but it is. So there in the middle of our picture is a giant rabbit. We know that inside that costume someone is moving and breathing. Shaking hands and acting like a friendly, buck-teeth bunny. What we don't know is what that man under the costume really looks like. What is he thinking? Is he irritated with the costume, and uncomfortable moving around in it? Does he wish these annoying people would go away so he could take off his costume and drink a Diet Coke?
I remember living so many years of my life like this costumed bunny. Presenting a picture to the outside world that look friendly, sweet and inviting- when really I felt closed off, isolated, and bland. Food became a tricky substitute for the real engagement of relationships and Christ's love. In the book of Ephesians Paul talks about laying aside the old self. He says "...in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind."

What a joy it is to know that we don't have to live with fake rabbit heads covering us. We can choose to lay aside the old self- and shed our costumes. Paul goes on to say "...put on the new self, which in the likeness of God, has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth." I'll take that over buck teeth and fur any day.
Blessings...
Gari

Banquet with the King

I just finished teaching a Truly Fed class in my new home state of Texas. The last class of Truly Fed is always a bit emotional. We leave the room we start the class in, and move into a room that I have set up to look like a beautiful banquet table. I bring in real colored glass goblets, candles sparkle across the ivory lace tablecloths, beads and jewel looking strands grace every corner of the tables. I also take antique dishes and attach this scripture to them "'Behold, the former things are past. I declare new things' says the Lord. 'Before they spring forth I declare them.'" Isaiah 42:9

As we sit at the table, share communion, and reflect on the healing God designs in our lives I am reminded of something I once heard author Larry Crabb say. "Though we are created to sit at the banquet table and dine with the King, we often choose to crawl on the floor under the table looking for crumbs."

This is he perfect description of disordered eating. Crumb licking... Instead of enjoying food and functioning in a normal capacity with it- it crowds our minds and mental space, pushing out even the scent of a graceful God who never tires of inviting us to the table.

This day may be choose to eat with the King. I love you sweet sisters...

Overcoming our Spiritual Hysterics

Hello sweet blog friends! I'm so sorry I disappeared for so long!

In the past 5 months I wrapped up a career in educational consulting, spoke at various speaking engagements around the country, sold and moved out of our home in Colorado, drove a huge moving truck to Texas with a girlfriend (we affectionately nicknamed it "The Beast"), worked in Uganda for most of June, and settled into a new home and life in Houston! Whew...I"m tired just typing about it!

In the months that followed this blitz of travel and chaos I came into a time of mental fog. It seemed that every time I sat down to pray and read the Bible I felt like I was tunneling through an iceberg with a blow dryer! Why couldn't I get back to the mental sharpness I was used to functioning in? Why did I feel like I needed to go back to Christianity 101 to reign my tired brain into submission?

It was during this time that the Lord spoke so sincerely to my need for chaos and challenge. He said "wait"... Wait? Are you kidding? I'm a mover and a shaker. A believer in healing, goodness and inspiration. "No" He said..."Just wait."

Oswald Chambers, the brilliant writer and preacher from the early 1900's said something that I still read each day. It's written on a sticky note above my kitchen sink- now wet and stained. It simply says..."Are we detached enough from our own spiritual hysterics to wait on the Lord? To wait is not to sit with folded hands, but to learn to do what we are told."

When our spiritual hysterics are screaming and pushing. When we are addicted to challenge and chaos. Or when life simply seems to spiral in directions that are unexpected- we wait on God. Our kicking, screaming, fretting and manipulating does no good. We wait... And it's in the waiting that the spiritual fog lifts.

Blessings...
Gari

Rewiring our brains for change

Yesterday I talked about an article I read in Good Housekeeping. The gist of the article was that it is possible to rewire the neurological paths our brains function in. (If you didn't read yesterday's blog, check it out! There's some good research in it!) Some of the fall-out of poor brain functioning with food is: bingeing, eating with no regard to hunger, throwing up or feeling the need to "work-off" everything we ingest, using pills or laxatives to monitor routines with food, and simply over or under eating food regularly...living in fear that food will forever craft the way we view ourselves.
I remember a time when I lived in the middle of all of these behaviors. What a muddy mess! Then one day I stood in my closet and cried out to God..."Jesus, You say that we can have life, and life abundantly. This isn't abundant life- it's a hellish prison. Help me break out!"
That was the beginning of my brain rewiring.

So how do you go from the desire for brain surgery, to the actuality of living it? Here are a few of the things that I did both short-term and long-term to eradicate wrong thinking and habits, and replace them with truth and life.

1. Be honest with God and yourself about the behavior that has held you captive. No excuses or rationalizations! (Food is my only friend...I deserve this reward of food...It's no big deal if I overeat, tomorrow I'll diet!) Confess this thinking and ask God to forgive the mess we've participated in with food.

2. Be intentional with food like you would someone or something you love. Pay attention to what you eat-- not in a tormenting, dieting way, but a smart and excited way. I literally rewired my brain as to what I enjoy eating. Coming from a cheeseburger and Captain Crunch addict, this was huge. I am free to eat what I want, but most of the time I choose delicious, healthy food because I've rewired my brain to like them.

3. Understand that continuing to "present" my body as a slave to food is my choice. God doesn't love me any more or less according to my behavior with food, but by continuing to participate in the craziness, my life isn't what it could be. I love this scripture: "So consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Don't let sin reign in your body, that you would go on obeying its lusts. And don't go on presenting your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness, but present yourself to God, as alive from the dead!" (Romans 6:12)

Keep believing! Keep changing! Every small brain rewire is precious to God, because it means that you want to live a life free from bondage and full of hope.

Brain Surgery...Kind of...

I picked up a copy of the April edition of Good Housekeeping and loved an article I read by Geneen Roth. She is one of my favorite authors on compulsive eating, and I have several quotes from her in my book, Truly Fed. She talks about how she changed her behavior with food...really changed it..for good. She shared about the newest research regarding the plasticity of the brain, and how it is capable of learning new ways of behaving-creating new neural pathways- but doing so requires repetition,focus, and consistency. To change a habit you've got to change the wiring of the brain by doing things differently. She went on to say that the average time for real change is 66 days, but some people need as long as 254 days. "That's almost a year!" I've heard some people scream in anguish. But my response is "Yes it is...but how's it working for you now?" Typically they get the point. Anything worth doing, changing, or putting our hearts into, takes time and focus. I call it intentionality. We intentionally eat and live our lives, not randomly and haphazardly. Not ruled by the lure of binges and compulsivity, but sanity and hope.
I've been free from compulsive food behavior for over 20 years, and often I am asked "But how do you not return to the old behaviors that messed you up in he first place?"
It's a great question, with many phases to the answer, but my main response is "I've rewired my brain!" The habits I replaced my old behvior with are now the way I live and function with food. Geneen Roth says "Since whatever you pay attention to flourishes, I became an expert in agonizing about my behavior rather than changing it."
The gift we have, that Good Housekeeping doesn't mention, is the secret to the "brain surgery" we need. It goes like this... "Do not be conformed to this world, but be TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable, and perfect." (Romans 12:2)
For the next few days I will talk about simple, but powerful ways we rewire our brains with food. It's not just Good Housekeeping, but Good Brainkeeping, and it's possible for every one of us- no matter how desperate or messed up we may feel!

What's Eating You?

I recently picked up an old book titled The Power of Positive Thinking. There was a line in this small book that grabbed my attention. "Many people suffer poor health not because of what they eat, but from what's eating them."

Often it's not what's being put into our mouths that causes heartache in our lives, but why we are putting it in our mouths!

Mindless eating with no regard for hunger, eating out of boredom, frustration, or loneliness. Eating because we are angry with someone, or mad at ourselves. Eating to fill a void or emptiness that food seems to temporarily fill. Eating to get back at someone,or numb ourselves... The truth is that we were created with three types of hunger that function in our lives.

1. Body hunger is the natural function of the body to eat, be satisfied, and then need to eat again when hunger arises.
2. Emotional hunger is the need for certain emotional needs to be met. Love, companionship, respect, hope...are all examples of emotional needs we have that long to be comforted and addressed.
3. Spirit hunger is when our spirit needs to feed from God's love and His words to us through the bible, prayer, and fellowship with other believers.

When we stuff these types of hunger with food alone, we are starving the actual needs, and blindly stuffing food down as the false answer to all that we feel or desire. We eat instead of pray. Eat instead of believe for better things in our lives. Eat instead of feeling an emotion that is scary or has no quick resolve. Maybe we need to put the food down and actually feel our lives. Turn away from the refrigerator or mocha latte and pray. Food is meant to be enjoyed, but not to be a security blanket. Only God's love and assurance give that kind of security.

The Antidote to Fear

I once heard a speaker say that fear is the most powerful of all thoughts- with one exception, and that exception is faith. Faith always overcomes fear. Master faith, and you will master fear. I love the thought of mastering fear, because deep at the core of disordered eating, I think fear lies, rotting and growing, spreading like a fungus on a wet rock.
** fear of no self-discipline
** fear that you will loose control
** fear that you will stay trapped in behaviors you hate
** fear that food will stay in the "bully" realm of your mind
** fear that other people "get it" and you don't
** fear that God is irritated with you on this topic- or worse-doesn't care
The first time the word fear is mentioned in the Bible is when Adam and Eve are being pursued by God after they have done something they are ashamed of. They hid because they were afraid to face God.
Why do we run from the very one that comforts us?
If the antidote to fear is faith- then the question is how do we turn our defeated, fearful minds into minds that exercise faith rather than condemnation? Faith rather than destructive habits? Faith rather than the overwhelming fear that nothing will ever change in our lives?
I believe in the "plunger" method- and I've used this method repeatedly in my freedom walk with food. Like a plunger unclogs a stopped drain, so this method unclogs my fearful mind. Every time a fearful thought invades my mind I replace it with thoughts based on scripture such as:
"Let not your heart be troubled, believe in God, believe also in Me." Jesus(John 14)

"Peace I leave you; My peace I give to you- not as the world give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful." Jesus (John 14)

"Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, that your joy may be made full." Jesus (John 16:24)

Food has no power. It's just food. We give it the power to make us afraid.
May we plunge out the fear,and replace it with faith in a God bigger than what defeats us.