A Place to Meet

Today I did something crazy. For those of you who know me, you know that's not unusual! I took a lawn chair, my bible, and a notebook--and pulled up to a path of trees. I've walked this path before, as it sits on the edge of a giant paved parking lot next to my beloved church. What fascinates me is this chunk of land is now forgotten. It used to have a farm on it, and from the look of the worn path, possibly a barn. It must have been a grand site. There's a stunning dirt road carved out of stately trees that line what was probably an orchard strewn walkway leading to a farmhouse that once sheltered a family. People homesteaded this land decades ago, long before they knew that one day a church the size of a small city would sit on their humble stretch of land.

It was on this land that I had a "tree meeting" with God. Before you assume I've lost my mind...let me explain. Several months ago I was reeling from a large dose of insecurity. So many questions fighting for validity in my mind. "Am I smart enough to continue to write books?" "Now that I'm in the big leagues of writing, can I keep up with the demands and the work load?" "What if I fail, and let everyone, including God, down?" With the force of a linebacker, the questions keep knocking the breath right out of me.

One day I came upon a scripture that seemed to spread ointment over my chaffed soul.
"Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, For she will be like a tree planted by the water,that extends its roots by a stream, and will not fear when the heat comes; but its leaves will be green, and it will not be anxious in a year of drought...nor cease to yield fruit." Jeremiah 17

For months I kept looking for "my" tree. I pictured a fabulous oak stretched out over a trickling creek. I thought it may be in the mountains, or on a running trail that I would lean up next to and call mine. After looking for that tree for seven months, I was stunned to find it in a paved parking lot.

Every Monday morning before the sun would rise I would walk this lot, praying for God to shine His favor on the speaking and teaching I would deliver in that church on Monday evenings. Boy did He show up! One week as I strolled the lot praying, I looked up at the string of trees that somehow I had missed for months. As I meandered through them, the sun seemed to shine so thick over one of the tree's branches that it looked like it was coated in gold and caramel--gooey enough to lick and bright enough to grab sunglasses to block the glare. I stood there speechless, and quietly uttered a prayer, "Is this my tree God?" The goosebumps on my skin told me it was.

So this morning I plopped a lawnchair in the back of my jeep, and sat down next to my tree for some time of peaceful insight and praise. The questions that beat me up still surface now and then, but I know the truth that silences them. I nudged next to my tree outlined by a black paved parking lot and busy highway...relishing the new place I have to meet with God. Sometimes He shows up in unexpected paths and parking lots...

Blessings!
Gari

test run

Back on Track!

To all my blogging friends...so sorry for the time that has lapsed between my last post. I got a new lap top, and for some reason this new computer wouldn't let me post my blogs. Truthfully, even my Geek Squad buddy at Best Buy couldn't figure the problem out, but thankfully I think we're back on track! Look for some brand new blogs coming up in the next week or two!
Big Hugs,
Gari
(No...I'm not in the vintage picture of the cheerleaders...Smile...)

Getting out of our Bathrobes

It may be hard to believe, but I actually started a recent speaking engagement in my hot pink, fuzzy robe! The ladies looked at me as if I were half crazy, which once they heard me speak, was confirmed. The truth is, I love my robe... and I love my jammies too. I've been known to go for a jog, run errands, and spend an entire day buzzing around in my favorite nightie T-shirt. Even though I love wearing this shirt, I'm always hoping I don't run into someone I know. I may be comfortable, but I'm not really functioning my best in it.

When it comes to belief in God,we need to get out of our bathrobes. Comfort isn't the essential factor in faith, having some guts is.

In the Gospel of Mark a man brings his son to Jesus. The boy had severe convulsions, so bad that the father was is beside himself with despair. When Jesus asked him how long this had been happening, the jolted dad responded with a litany of pain, and topped his response off with "If you can do anything, take pity on us and help us!"

Jesus responded "If You can! All things are possible to him who believes."

With a sigh in his voice and heart the man shouted back "I do believe; help my unbelief."

This man's cry is the cry of humanity--we do believe, but in the same breath, we don't. Believing that God can actually change the things that hurt us the most may be one of the hardest things about faith. We can't live in our bathrobes and expect to go deeper in our belief.

This desperate father was authentic about his struggle to believe, and still had the guts to present his son to Jesus for a miracle. Faith is messy, and anyone who has ever needed God to transform a life, a habit, a marriage, a disease, a job, a dream--utters the same gutsy plea that this father did.

"I do believe, help my unbelief" is authentic and fresh. It pushes us out of our bathrobes into a gutsy stanz for faith to flourish.
Blessings!
Gari

Postured to Hear

I find myself feeling tired and it's only 10:30 in the morning! My day has already been packed with "must do" and "have to" activities. Like most women today, I'm blazing through my life at a speed that could make the space shuttle look slow.

In the midst of my bulging day, I've pondered how I listen for God. I'm convinced that how we listen for God, can determine our filling by God. So many of us beg to hear from God, and sadly, when He tries to speak to us, we bristle right by Him.

In scripture, there's an interesting pattern to how Jesus filled people.
"And when it was evening the disciples came to Him saying 'The place is desolate, and the time is already past; so send the multitudes away, that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves.'
But Jesus said to them 'They don't need to go away; you give them something to eat!'
And they said to Him, 'We have here only five loaves and two fish.' And He said 'Bring them here.'
And ordering the multitudes to sit down on the grass, He took the five loaves and two fish, and looking up toward heaven, He blessed the food and gave it to His disciples to give to the multitudes. They all ate and were satisfied, and there were 12 baskets of food leftover." (Matthew 14)

The multitude Jesus fed could have been as many as 10 thousand people! The bible says there were 5,000 men, and this didn't include women and children. That's a big crowd and way you slice it, but what's fascinating is how Jesus chose to get their attention so they could be fed. He made them sit down! Prior to this they were milling around, talking to one another, interacting, trying to get a closer look at the healings taking place. Before they could receive a filling, they had to sit. In another encounter shortly after this one, Jesus said the exact same thing to another huge crowd. "And He directed the multitude to sit down on the ground." (Matthew 15)

Why does Jesus insist on a posture of sitting? Simply put, we don't hear very well when we're milling around! To hear from Him, be filled by Him, and have enough for baskets of left-overs; we have to sit down and be still.

Sometimes I practice this by turning off my radio while I'm driving, or keeping the house quiet while I get dressed. Sometimes it looks like getting up a little early to just kneel or sit without an agenda with God. However it may look in our lives... being still may be the most productive thing we do today.

Blessings!
Gari

Game Changers

Being married to a professional athlete and coach for almost three decades I've come to realize the distinct difference between winning and losing often doesn't show up on a scoreboard or in a box score. It shows in the bravery of the person participating.

We are in love with our current team even though we seem to loose more than we win. Recently I had to miss one of our home games to teach a class. As the game proceeded one of the wives on our team texted me a message that broke my heart. She said that there were several men behind her that were destroying her husband verbally. Muttering to themselves and everyone within their seat's vicinity that he should be fired. Although this is typical jargon at ballgames, it cuts deep when it's your husband or son that they're booing. I shot her back a text that simply said "Five smooth stones...we will see God's glory." Later that night she relayed that message to her husband. He instantly stopped and asked with full gaze "What do you think she meant by 5 smooth stones?"

Honestly, when I texted that message I didn't have any deep insight to share, I was just thinking about how David, when faced with a cocky giant breathing insults at God's army, bent down and picked up 5 smooth stones to use in his Shepard-made slingshot. He had no sophisticated weapons, no physical advantage (the giant Goliath was about 9 feet tall!)and no authentic support as everyone around him thought it was hopeless and he was a bit crazy!

I often wonder what it might have sounded like if after he picked up each smooth stone, he named them before putting them into his small pouch. Their names may have been courage, clarity, fortitude, trust, and tenacity.


Courage: The ability to face things that make you afraid

Clarity: A laser-like focus that cuts through unnecessary rubble and leaves you with direction and peace

Fortitude: A determination to push through pain or confusion until results are seen

Trust: A reliance on the God bigger than the giants we face

Tenacity: The absolute certainty that what we hope for will transpire

Last week I filled several small, clear bags with 5 smooth stones and asked Bobby to give them to a few men on our team. Sometimes we just need to get a gutsy,new perspective. Like a small Shepard facing a giant, we face the giants in our lives. And although you may not face them with people screaming at you from the seats of a stadium, the screams still resound in the messy confines of our minds. Five smooth stones can be the game changer...

Blessings!
Gari

Spirit Hunger...What are we really longing for?

Do you ever feel hungry for something that food or substance can't satisfy? Do you sense longings that seem to push and percolate their way to the surface of bland days? Lately I've been pondering this as I write my next book.

Most psychologists and sociologists agree that humanity has certain longings that are universal in nature:
1. Longing for nurture, attention and affirmation
2. Longing for purpose
3. Longing for intimacy: to hear and be heard
4. Longing for discipline

In my own life I can see how these longings have sometimes pushed me into some tight corners. Craving to be noticed and affirmed--taking on tasks I don't desire to create purpose--substituting real intimacy for fake replacements--and facilitating between being overly discipline and lacking discipline.

As I write this I'm sitting at Panera next to a table of beautiful women that look to be around 60 years old. Dressed to a tee, sharp make-up and outfits, I can tell they are old friends with history. One woman is dominating the conversation- talking about everything from her house to her dog. She's talked for about 20 minutes straight, and I don't think her friends could budge a comment in if they tried. But they seem to love this friend, or at the very least- tolerate her with respect. (I know it seems nosy that I'm talking about their conversation, but they're talking really loud for goodness sake!)

Listening to this got me thinking about longings. Maybe this chatty friend needs extra nurturing and affirmation today. Maybe she's floundering with no purpose and longs for an extra measure of intimacy today. Or, maybe she lacks the discipline to notice it's time to let someone else speak. Whatever the case- it reminds me of how God must lovingly sigh when we run from thing to thing to satisfy ourselves. It's a little like pouring water into a broken pitcher. You can pour with the greatest intention, but the water is still going to leak all over place.

I can always tell when I'm trying to pour a broken pitcher of water over my messy longings. It's then that I ask God for a filling that doesn't leak.

Blessings!
Gari

If I could run away, I'd run to a place that looks like this. Gorgeous setting with just enough seats for an intimate meal. Shabby chic yet elegant. A gate that leads to a stunning life somewhere. No stress, no disappointment, no mental fatigue, no irritations.
Today I feel like running away. It's hard to say why exactly, except that a blast of pain from a stained past seems to have punched me in the face like a mean boxer. It's pushed me into a corner where my eyes swell up and I can't see past the bloody mess the boxing gloves have left on my life.

It's in these moments that I'm reminded of a words from a fellow writer who tries to make sense of grace...
"That which seems evil, is it a cloud to bring rain, to bring a greater good to the whole of the world? Who would ever know the greater graces of comfort and perseverance, mercy and forgiveness, patience and courage, if no shadows fell over a life?"

I'm thinking that if I choose the right set of lenses, I can see shadows as proof that the sun is shining. You can't have a shadow without the sun-- and you can't have real grace without THE SON.

So for today, instead of dwelling on the shadow, I choose to see the sun behind it. It's no fairytale, but it beats running away...

Blessings!
Gari

Bobby meets the President!

As Bobby and I rode home from an Astros game, chatting fervently about pitching, fielding percentage, and our need for some home-run production, he quietly mumbled under his breath "Oh, I'm meeting President Bush and Barbara for lunch tomorrow."
"You're what?" I shouted, forgetting it was just he and I in the car and there was no need for extra volume. Granted, the Bush's are regulars at games in Houston during April and May before they leave for their summer destination. And granted, last spring training the manager's wife and I got to sit at a game with Barbara and chat about hairstyles, baseball, and random ridiculous topics. But this was lunch with the former President and First Lady. It's a big deal any way you slice it- and I couldn't wait to hear how it went.

Bobby came home armed with a personally signed hardcover book of the President's memoir, and a two deck box of cards with the Presidential Seal on them. Gin Rummy will never be the same.

Reflecting on this unique opportunity he was given I was struck by the unlikely way God threads impossible meetings and opportunities into our lives in ways we could never orchestrate ourselves. There's a verse in one of the Psalms that says "He makes my feet like hinds' feet, and sets me upon my high places."

A deer's feet are specially designed to travel to summits and peaks that most animals can't make it to. Their sense of grace, balance, and stamina to climb the high places is a gift they both enjoy and struggle with. It's enjoyed on days when they leap the high places with no threat of pending storms or a hunter's bow. It's a struggle when the snow is coming sideways and their footing seems fragile and weak compared to the size of the mountain.

It's in these times that I realize that our feet are created for the journey's God intends. He leads us all to high places where we stand- amazed at the circumstances that brought us there.
A friendship that leads to a special opportunity years later...
A boss that opens a door to a better job after being laid off...
An acquaintance that leads to a soul mate...
A heart-ache that lead to restoration and growth...

Such is the way of the hinds' feet on the high places. And although your high places may not include lunch with a former President- they're still showing off a breathtaking view.

Crusty Crabs

I took this picture a few weeks ago when I was visiting my daughter Brooke in San Francisco. She wasn't exactly thrilled when I begged her to put this "Crab Hat" on her head for a picture--but being the good sport that she is- she slapped it on her head and smiled.

Surrounded by marine life as we walked along the pier, I was intrigued by the notion of crabs. As a beach lover that has lived most of her life in a land-locked state- even the ugly sea animals make me cheer with delight...even crabs. They aren't exactly lovable, with their pincher claws and crusty outer shell, but oh do they have a tender meat on the inside!

This reminds me of myself on my crabby days. Pinching those that get in the way of my plans or expectations. Crusty to God's whisper of a new idea or person that needs to be loved. Sometimes I'm crabby and I can't even explain why!

The author of most of the Psalms in the bible was a wealthy king named David. That's not new news to most of us, but did you know that he struggled with being crabby? His moods often got the best of him, putting him in the crustacean's family, just like the rest of us. Listen to what he moans to God:

"Why are you in despair, O my soul?
And why have you become disturbed within me?
The help of my moods, and my God."
Psalm 42: 11

I love the authenticity of David. His crabbiness is prodding him to do something gutsy and brave. It's prodding him to hope in God. He realizes that his moods, his crustiness, his outlook...are all wrapped up in the One he loves. Disturbed and despairing- he hopes- instead of burying himself in the sand like most crabs do when they are threatened or want to escape.

Although I still cheer when I see crabs, I don't want to live my life like one. The tender crab meat inside is what I hope to reflect. And I hope it doesn't take a hammer and a giant bib to pull it out of me!

Blessings...
Gari

Here Comes the Sun

I don't know how you handle failure, but I stink at it. For me, feeling like I've failed someone can be likened to putting a toothpick in my eye. It hurts- and it always leaves splinters that I have to try and figure out.
The other day I had the opportunity to speak to a group of women. Now that I have made speaking my profession- there's nothing unusual about that. But what happened stung me like a bee. I didn't feel like I did a good job.

The last few months have been glorious as I finished an 8 week course I've been writing- gathering this material and beginning to write my second book from it. Other speaking events this year have been powerful and filled with a sense of purpose and awe. So what happened here? Why did I feel like a failure? And why do these fragments of splinters continue to beat me up?

As I've sorted through the facts I've realized some things: I didn't understand the purpose of the event clearly, I was coming off an intense time of writing and preparation and thought I could get by with less, and I misunderstood how they wanted the material packaged. With this clarity you'd think I could just move on...but that feeling of failure just keeps taking another swing at my already bandaged heart.

What do we do with failure? How can we let it go and chalk things up to "I'll do better next time?" This morning I woke up with an old tune floating through my head. I may not have the words exactly right , but you'll get the gist.

Little Darling-- It's been a long cold lonely winter. Little Darling-- It seems like years since you've been here. Here comes the sun. Here comes the sun. It's alright..."

As I've hummed this tune to myself today, I thought about the line "Here comes the sun" and almost giggled when I thought about my love for another kind of sun. The SON. The SON never beats us when we've failed. As a matter of fact- He totally gets it, and invites us to feel comforted by His grace. The SON never heaps guilt on an already wounded heart, but instead holds the heart in His hands and says "Try again. Use me and my strength to get back up again." And most important, the SON is always cheering us on to greater meaning, purpose, and character in our lives.

So if today you are reflecting on a time you've failed-- let a boss down, yelled at your kids, ignored your husband or wife, didn't do your best at something, got a traffic ticket, forgot to do something important, overindulged, picked laziness instead of action-- know you're in good company. That's humanity. And remember the words to this song, with a little twist--
Here comes the SON. Here comes the SON... It's alright...

Blessings,
Gari

Peeking into Treasure

As my mom and I sat in a doctor's office- waiting for her biopsy of breast tissue which turned out to be cancer- she looked at me and said "Honey, I want to take you to France." My mind was more on cancer- but I uttered "I'd love to!" So after her surgery and treatment, off we went, like two teens on a trip after high school graduation.
We traveled on a small cruise boat that floated down a river through France- stopping at gorgeous villages from the 1300's, stunning churches, and landscape that looked like jewels had dazzled the ground instead of grass. But one day ended up being our favorite, and it completely took both of us by surprise.

Everyone disembarked the boat with the hope of climbing to the top of a large hill which housed the remains of an old castle. The climb was a bit difficult though- and although I am a thrill seeker extraordinaire- mom had some trouble with her back, and climbing seemed out of the question. We decided that we would meander around the quiet village that nestled against the hill with the remains of the castle.
As we wandered up and down the streets you could feel the calm pace of the villager's lives. Another man from our boat who suffered from a weak heart joined mom and I as we walked the cobbled stones past a bakery, church, and cafe. Each home that bordered the cobbled sidewalk seemed blocked off from the public eye. There were gates with thick ivy growing- it seemed to keep the people out and beauty in.

I had my face plastered against a fence, trying to see one house in particular- when a kind elderly French man passed me with a gentle greeting. I don't know a single word in French past croissant- so his greeting was especially warm. He literally grabbed my arm and asked if our small band of wanderers wanted to see his home, sequestered behind the ivy. We nodded yes, and off we went. The picture you see at the top of this blog is his home. Not only did he let us enjoy the beauty of the outside of his home- but he invited us in!
There we were, in this man's lovely home, not able to speak one word to each other, but completely understanding each other's language. He motioned us to his backyard where we viewed flowers, bushes, and trees literally bursting with color. Lilacs lined every inch of the fencing that protected this intense treasure. It was the essence of simplicity and beauty.
As we left his home we repeatedly embraced him- thanking him for inviting us into his privacy and retreat- but more importantly, into his beauty.
We stood on the sidewalk breathless and giddy. A man with a weak heart, a woman with a bad back, and a woman with a desire to press her face against people's fences to get a glimpse into their lives. We all three said that without a doubt, this was our favorite day.
The people that climbed the mountain had fun too- but I knew that we had experienced something of the authentic presence of God that day.
An invitation to see His beauty in a way that supersedes language. An invitation to simply enjoy His beauty- without fanfare or drama.

I am reminded of the words of David in one of the Psalms...
"One thing I have asked from the Lord,
That I shall seek;
That I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the Lord." (Psalm 27)


May we not miss His beauty when He gives us a chance to peek in.

Rich blessings!
Gari

Get in the Pool

When I was in college, each summer I would return home to work at a local health club. One of my duties was to teach all kinds of aerobics classes. I know I'm dating myself here- think big hair, leggings over tights, and disco music while we jumped around on a hard wood floor!
One day my boss informed me that he wanted me to teach water aerobics in the pool. "How hard can it be?" I thought, as I stood on the edge and shouted instructions to all my ladies immersed in the pool. When the class was over my boss called me aside and told me that to be an effective teacher I needed to get in the water with the ladies and actually do the class with them.
I have never forgotten that lesson- and boy was he right. Class attendance tripled, and so did my compassion for those I was teaching.

One of the things I respect most about Jesus is the way He fully understands what it's like to be human. Every heartache, temptation, desire and pull is completely familiar to Him. He is the essence of authenticity when it comes to being human.

"For since He Himself was tempted in that which He has suffered, He is able to come to the aid of those who are tempted." Hebrews 2:18


If Jesus merely taught from the side of the pool- barking out instructions about how we should live but not getting into the water Himself- I would have a hard time following Him. I'd constantly be wondering how He could truly understand what it feels like to be afraid, to lose something you love, to feel betrayed or abandoned- or to grasp the pain and beauty of being fully alive.
If He hadn't gotten in the pool and become human I couldn't trust Him- much less give my life to Him.

The truth is He did more than get in the water. He actually is the "lifeguard"- not only lapping around us with ropes and lifesaving rings, but putting us in a sidestroke- His arms over our limp bodies, protecting us from the depths, carrying us towards safety.

So even if you can't see the bottom of your pool right now, know that your lifeguard sees you. He knows the depths of your life- and He's been in the pool.

Blessings-
Gari

Blues and Blahs

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This morning I woke up to gray skies. The sky really seemed to imitate my mood. A bit chilly, drizzly, and an overall dull outlook towards the new day before me.
What happened? The weekend was great. Good friends, good food, good rest, and clear focus. The truth is- the blues and blahs can settle like whispers or screams- but they definitely settle- like unwelcome house guests that don't understand it's time to leave.

My good friend Leanne spoke about this very encounter yesterday in our Sunday school class. I love how the bible explains all the messy details of being human. Being stuck in a rut of despair is certainly one of them.

Elijah was a prophet that was unequaled in power and performance. Think Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, Babe Ruth. Then add the fact that he had the power of the living God working in him as he called down fire to prove the false gods of his day a farce. After a huge display of God's power by his hands- word spread to Queen Jezebel that this prophet had destroyed the false prophets that she heartily endorsed. "I'll kill him" she snapped. You'd think that Elijah would laugh in the face of that threat- but instead he ran away, and crumbled under a Juniper tree.

Filled with despair, fear, and exhaustion- Elijah moaned and muttered to the gray skies above him. He fell into a pit of despair. But like my friend says "It's really not a pit, it's a tunnel." The great thing about tunnels is that there is light at the end of them.

We can learn a few things from Elijah as he sunk into his tunnel:
1. When we are worn out, we don't think soundly (like running from a woman's threat when you've just called rain and fire down from heaven...)

2. When we isolate ourselves everything seems worse

3. Self-pity exaggerates and lies

4. When we forget what God has done in our lives, we have no true compass

So as this day turns to dusk, the gray color that has tinted the sky is now turning black- but I truly feel better knowing that tomorrow will dawn with a new color to the sky. And even if it's gray, my heart doesn't need to process it that way.

Blessings!
Gari

P.S.- For my Texas reading friends, join us on Sundays at 9:30, Second Baptist Church in Katy, the Life Application Class- for some great learning, teaching, and fun...